So here's 5 songs that really touches my heart and also why.
(Note: This is a four part piece because it was simply too long, haha. I posted no. 5 and no. 4 together because it shares the same story. The rest will be posted the following days when I'm done with them.)
5. Beautiful
4. So You Would Come
So, let me be honest. Christina Aguilera’s version didn’t do a thing to me. But the Glee cast version was an entire story. Mercedes Jones (portrayed by Amber Riley) sang Beautiful in Glee Season 1, Episode 16 (Home). Maybe it touched me mainly because Mercedes sang it when she finally realized she was beautiful inside out despite of her body figure.
I was 12 when a friend of mine told me, “You’re fat.” Yeah, so much for friends, huh? But that left a scar in my life. I went through most of my teenage life being self-conscious of my figure. But I wasn’t one of those that hates food or would throw up after I eat. Instead, I ate and ate. And one day, when I look at the mirror, I thought that the girl staring back at me was ugly. She was fat and she had pimples all over her face. Her hair was so plain and she was so friggin’ short. I hated myself and I had no self confidence. (Doesn't sound like me, right?)
My self confidence was based on sarcasm and how well I could make people feel bad about themselves. I was sharp-tongued and I was always picking a fight. And I studied hard because I thought that I could make up for my ugliness with straight As. So that my parents won’t be so ashamed of me. So that people would like me better.
It took me years later to build me confidence. When my teachers started training me for debates and public speaking, I began to build my self- confidence. But I still felt ugly.
I only started feeling beautiful when I found God. I had been a Christian all my life but I only found God at the age of 18. And the song So You Would Come, truly healed my scar. I was a new person, truly. I felt beautiful, loved, wanted. And for the first time in many years, I like the girl staring back at me when I look at the mirror. Nowadays, it’s kinda hard for me to not pass my own reflection without glancing at it, haha.
So when I listened to Mercedes singing Beautiful, I know how she must have felt. To feel ugly, to feel unwanted, to hate what you see in the mirror, to feel fat. And I also know how it feels to finally realize that no matter what people say about my appearance, I am beautiful. And someone up there loves me very much.
There’s nothing you can do
To make him love you more
And nothing that you’ve done
Could make him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
And everything was done
So you would come.-So You Would Come by Hillsong United-
I am beautiful
No matter what they say
Words can’t bring me down-Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, covered by Glee’s Amber Riley-
And FYI, I was barely 40 kgs when I was 12.
Labels: 5 Songs That Drive Me To Tears, vocals and chords, walking in the clouds
