She was about 10 years older than me. And her mother was about 10 years older than my mother. She has a baby boy with her, who cried when she handed him to her husband.
Her lips curled downwards as her crinkled eyes laid on the body of her recently deceased mother.
"Mummy..." She cried out, her voice hoarse, as if whispering. Her hands reached out to her mother as if she was going in for her hug.
And my heart felt so heavy. I fought hard against my tears -- a battle I won.
My heart felt heavy simply because I could easily picture myself in her place, with the heartwarming face of my mother on those sheets, instead of hers.
Her next words really ripped my heart apart.
"Anang guai (wait)," She begged. "Mummy, anang guai (wait)..."
"Sapa ka ngibun ucu dik ila, mummy?"
(Who's going to take care of your grandson, mummy?)
"Sapa ka ngau ku berandau ba talipon ila, mummy?"
(Who am I going to talk on the phone with, mummy?)
"Sapa ka ngau ku bejalai ila, mummy?"
(Who's going to go shopping with me, mummy?)
"Mummy, anang guai meh... nganti luk..."
(Mummy, wait... not now...)
I started this post with this story that I have written in my phone weeks ago, when I was attending the funeral of a relative. I never intended to use it on an occasion meant for all smiles.
But the thing is... Most of the time, we never know what we have until we lost it.
Why do we have to go through all these pain to appreciate what has always been next to us and with us?
When I look at my mother, she seems like that person in my mind that would live forever. It only took my one funeral to realise that she wouldn't. Just like every other person in this world, her time on Earth is not forever.
I thanked God that I realised it back in 2009. Some people never did. Some did, perhaps much earlier or much later than me.
Whether you are close to your mother or not, I believe it is time to truly get to know your mother. Find out what she likes, what she doesn't like. Remind her again and again that you love her and that you are thankful for her, in your words and most importantly, in your actions.
I didn't get to be with my mother this Mothers' Day. I pray to God you had your Mothers' Day with your mother. And if you do, don't let it pass just like that. Chances are rare and God-given.
Happy Mothers' Day, everyone.Happy Mothers' Day, mum.Happy Mothers' Day, grandmama.
P/S: Despite all odds and statistics, my grandmother is doing well nowadays. We're praying that she'll be able to celebrate this year's Gawai at least. But of course, we'd like her to have years more with us. Thank you for your kind words and prayers :)
Labels: happy mothers' day
