Comfort comes in the weirdest form. It doesn't make sense most of the time. But it never fails to put a smile on my face. Knowing that distance never stops it from being right next to me, I know I could always count on it.-me-
I know I don't make a lot of sense now. I hate cryptic blogposts as well. But I couldn't afford to be direct. And I feel as if my heart will burst if I don't do something about the words pooling in my heart.
I missed the days of laughing genuinely, dancing to the tunes on my repeat playlist. Life happened and took a toll on me. Even when I failed, I didn't even stop to cry or to heal. I just moved on.
And somewhere along it, I crashed and burnt. It took me three days to finally decided I need a time-off. And I rested. Every night, as I fall asleep, I chanted instead of cried.
"I am not going to India, I am not going to India, I am not going to India."
I had so much confidence. And when it didn't happened, I felt as if the whole world will label me as a failure. Oh you can laugh. You have all the right to. I'm just a statistic, one of those who didn't make it over the years.
But I am still so proud of myself. I fell, again, and I wasn't even angry. Sure I felt like a total loser at one point. I felt lonely most of the time. But not once did I get angry. I wanted to so much. But I didn't. I couldn't.
For a scholar who once felt as if she is on top of the world, I feel as if this is my biggest battle. Why me? I won't ask that question. I can only let time heal my wounds and walk away with my head held high.
So whoever you are reading this;
If you are having your own battle now.
If you feel like the whole world is labeling you.
If you feel like a complete failure.
If you feel angry with everyone and yourself.
If life happened to you and you couldn't handle it yourself.
I am offering you a warm hand. I am reaching out to you. Leave me an anonymous comment. I won't publish it. Tell me how you feel or what you are going through. Because right now, I may not understand, but I want to help.
My name is Melissa. I've failed so many times in life. But I am still breathing. And I want to help remind you, to simply breathe.-me-
Labels: walking in the clouds
