Miss Tulips: Adam, what is your problem?
Adam: I'm too smart for the 1st Grade. My sister is in the 3rd Grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd Grade too!
Miss Tulips had enough. She took Adam to the Principal's office. While Adam waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the Principal what the situation was. The Principal told Miss Tulips he would give Adam a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st Grade and behave. She agreed. Adam was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test...
Principal: What is 3 x 3?
Adam: 9.
Principal: What is 6 x 6?
Adam: 36.
And so it went with every question the Principal thought a 3rd Grade should know. The principal looks at Miss Tulips and tells her...
Principal: I think Adam can go to the 3rd Grade.
Miss Tulips: I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?
The Principal and Adam both agreed...
Miss Tulips: What does a cow have four of that I have only two of
Adam: Legs.
Miss Tulips: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Adam: Pockets.
Miss Tulips: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Adam: Coconut.
Miss Tulips: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The Principal's eyes widened and before he could stop Adam from answering, the boy answered...
Adam: Bubblegum.
Miss Tulips: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
Again, the Principal's eyes widened but before he could say anything, Adam took charge of the situation...
Adam: Shake hands.
Miss Tulips: Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?
Adam: Sure thing.
Miss Tulips: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Adam: Tent.
Miss Tulips: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. He took one large Vodka peg...
Adam: Wedding ring.
Miss Tulips: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Adam: Nose.
Miss Tulips: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Adam: Arrow.
Miss Tulips: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Adam: Fire truck.
Miss Tulips: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use your hand.
Adam: Fork.
Miss Tulips: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Adam: Surname.
Miss Tulips: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, and is responsible for making love ?
Adam: Heart.
The Principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher...
Principal: Send this Boy to Oxford University 'cos even I got the last ten questions wrong myself.
Labels: amazingly random
